The 5 year (B)itch

We have lived in our house for just a couple weeks shy of 5 years now, I remember the timing because we were frantic to get in before my daughter's 14th birthday so she could have a party in our new house. So now I am finding, as a first time home owner, that nothing in this house was built or made to last five years. Last year our Frigidaire dishwasher leaked and ruined our kitchen...and the comedy of errors that ensued thereafter was traumatic to say the least...but I digress.

School Budget Cuts? Not if you have a baby in High School!

So today I am dropping my son off to school, he is a junior in high school. I notice that there is brand new playground equipment on the side of the school. It was one of those things that took my mind a minute to process...I am at a high school and there is playground equipment...I haven't had coffee and I am running on about 5 hours of sleep so I am staring, waiting for it to sink in...Why the hell to high schoolers need playground equipment?

Nobody likes me, Everybody hates me, Think I'll eat some worms....

Do you remember this song from when you were a kid? Every time I am having a pity party I think of this song...surprisingly (and possibly because I have no life) I found the lyrics on the internet with several different versions...seriously, google it! I never knew that this song went beyond my little circle of childhood friends! Somehow it has become my motto for whenever I am feeling blue for no apparent reason, which seems to happen every now and then... let's face it, I'm a girl, I get moody! Lately I have been in a funk, feeling like I need to do more with my life, be more social (outside of blogging and facebook), move to something bigger and better...just haven't figured out what that is yet!  So for now, I will torture myself with the whole "whoa is me...I have no life, no friends, no money...." and sing:

Just sayin...

After 30 days, I had my weekend to cheat. My cheating consisted of three, no make that four things....2 small slices of pizza, a piece of RED VELVET CAKE, a cup of decaf coffee and ketchup on my eggs....would you believe that of all four things the ketchup on my eggs was my favorite?? WTF? Ketchup?? Really??....who knew the nutritionist would be right, and the cravings just weren't there anymore....I'm guessing she did =)

Drum Roll Please......

After a 30 day detox, I am down 10 pounds and my son is down 19! I have never been able to lose that much weight before on any "diet" and believe me I have tried!! In the past 30 days I have logged 57 miles on my bike. It may not seem like much to some people, but for me it is truly epic and I feel amazing!

Red Velvet Cake

WTF is the deal with Red Velvet Cake lately? Everywhere I turn it seems someone is either talking about Red Velvet Cake, eating Red Velvet Cake, looking for Red Velvet Cake, or trying to find Red Velvet Cake Ice Cream! I even have a facebook friend who posted a picture of Red Velvet Cake as his profile picture!! Come on people, give a girl a break.! Admittedly I have a box of Red Velvet Cake mix in my pantry and it taunts me every day of this horrible no sugar diet!!!

Fun with Chalkboards......

 

Part of the comedic charm of my family is that we have these giant chalkboards on our pantry doors. We are constantly leaving notes for each other, little reminders etc... Then someone comes along and changes a word or two and the whole meaning changes! The same holds true for pictures, someone could draw a triangle and somehow it morphs into a an alien vomiting a jack-o-lantern on dad's head. Never a dull moment, and some of the funniest things evolve from boredom! This chalkboard entry was posted because someone, who shall remain nameless, used my washcloths to wash her car.

Detoxing sucks a little less....

Ok so the first days of detoxing sucked more than words could say. I felt awful, I wanted to kill someone and I couldn't take an advil for the screaming headaches!! Now I am on day 9 (of 30) and I feel like the yuckiness has faded. I have lost 6 pounds, and my son has lost over 10! Woohoo, we are off to a great start! The nutritionist told me that after 72 hours the cravings for sugar and caffeine go away...she is, as much as I love her, a liar!

Detoxing Sucks!!

No, not drug or alcohol, or prescription meds...nothing that glamorous...I am food detoxing, and so far it sucks ass! I was lucky enough to inherit the fat gaining genes and other various health junk from both sides of my family! I then in turn felt I should pass it along to my son (who is 16). We both have food sensitivities, are lactose intolerant, blah blah blah...we both struggle with our weight, and live in a house with skinny people who always want dessert, and the food network is usually on two tv's at a time. This is another one of those things that I just can't make up. My husband is a total foodie. He will turn on food network  in the living room and the bedroom so that he won't miss anything (I know real on the edge of your seat tv). We go on vacations solely based on food.

My Crazy Life!

Let me start by introducing myself...My name is Laurie, I have been married for the past 19 years to the funniest man I have ever met. We have 4 children ages 23, 18, 16 and 9....and yes you have done the math correctly, we were not married when our first two children came along...truth be told, I didn't even know my husband when the first one was born...she is technically not mine by birth, but in my heart she is my first born. Now the next one, my little too-smart-for-her-own-good-obsessive-compulsive ray of sunshine is another story!