The 5 year (B)itch

We have lived in our house for just a couple weeks shy of 5 years now, I remember the timing because we were frantic to get in before my daughter's 14th birthday so she could have a party in our new house. So now I am finding, as a first time home owner, that nothing in this house was built or made to last five years. Last year our Frigidaire dishwasher leaked and ruined our kitchen...and the comedy of errors that ensued thereafter was traumatic to say the least...but I digress.
A couple of weeks ago I noticed that the inner drum of the drier had a crack in it...how did I find out?...my underwear got stuck in it. As I am struggling AND cursing AND fighting with the drier to give me back my delicates, I was left wondering , how the f  it got a crack in it? I am sure I will never know nor do I want to know. I have visions of my son trying to shove my youngest daughter in there for a carnival ride. I have come to the conclusion though, as expensive as driers are, I will use this one until it completely takes a crap! Then I decided, out of pure selfishness that I WANTED a new refrigerator. I didn't NEED a new refrigerator, but I hated mine, a Frigidaire side by side. I could never find anything, I could never fit anything in the freezer and every time I opened the freezer door sh*t would come flying out...try dropping a frozen package of meat on your toe...it ain't fun! I cursed it everyday. So I bit the bullet and went to Lowe's and found the most beautiful double door top fridge with bottom freezer, and I did what any American would do, I charged it. I was feeling a little guilty about a frivolous spend, I am normally very money conscious...so when I get home I go into my old Frigidaire to take one last look around and the friggin hinge broke on the door! Are you kidding? Now I can't even sell it, and believe me I tried...who on craigslist wants a 5 year old Frigidaire with a broken hinge? I let Lowe's take it away...Now my son goes to make himself lunch, homemade diet pizza (YUM) and begins yelling for me "mom you better come in here quick" (I know instinctively that this is going to be something that will make my eye twitch just a little more than usual). I dash into the kitchen to find the heating element in the...you guessed it... Frigidaire oven pretty much blew up. Some marriages  go through the 7 year itch, my appliances are going through the 5 year BITCH! So in this disposable society that we live in, I think I will start replacing things one by one one and get the better of them before they get the better of me!